I received an email the other day from Laura, a beautiful girl who suffers from Acne Dysmorphia. When I read Laura’s story it really touched my heart, and I could feel similarities in my own life, and how closely it aligns for those of us who suffer from skin picking.
I cannot thank Laura enough for sharing her story, because I feel as though Acne Dysmorphia is actually quite a common condition, and something that is not talked about enough. Here is Laura’s article …
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Hi, my name is Laura and I want to share with you my journey of a condition I did not even realise existed. It is my hope that some people may identify with the symptoms of Acne Dysmorphia and get the appropriate help to end this tormenting mental condition.
It all began around January 2007 when I began to get obsessed with the condition of my skin and would constantly be looking in the mirror checking for any blemishes or new spots. Looking back I realise that they were really not as bad as I thought but it caused me to become very self-critical and destructive. My self-esteem levels had never been particularly high but they were becoming lower and lower. I found myself making excuses when friends asked me to go out.
I just thought I was acting like any normal teenage girl in today’s society who obsesses about their physical appearance. As the months went on I found myself breaking down in tears on many occasions because I hated the way I looked so much. Any little spot made me feel ugly and disgusting which made it hard for me to be confident and my relationship with my boyfriend began to suffer with my continuing obsession with my skin which caused me to have mood swings.
At night I would apply endless amounts of creams and potions in an effort to get rid of what I saw as a face full of acne when in actual fact I was only suffering with the odd one or two spots.
But then in late August I started to get more spots and by September I had mild acne perhaps as a result of all the stress and creams I was applying. Even though I heard the words ‘mild acne’ from a doctor it certainly, in my eyes did not look or feel mild to me. I grew ever more impatient and each morning I was seeing little improvement. I became very depressed and began to loose weight. I would dread each morning knowing I would have to look in the mirror. Trying to cover it up with make-up only aggravated the problem and I felt hopeless like it would never disappear. Going out became increasing difficult as I felt so hideous and felt like I was constantly being stared at and judged. I did my best to avoid any social situation at this point.
I was due to begin my University course in October, which should have been an exciting step in my life. However my mind was so concerned with my skin I was becoming more and more anxious at the thought of going to University where there would be hundreds of new faces. I used to look forward to meeting new people and making friends but I knew that my preoccupation with my skin would affect my chances of making friends in the sense that it caused me to be very shy as I was desperate to avoid face to face contact with people where I could.
When I began University I styled my hair in a way that would shroud the left side of my face as this is the area I was most concerned about. I also wore a hat every day in a further attempt to hide my face from others. I did manage to make a few friends during my first week but I could feel a constant weight of anxiety in my chest as I was so concerned as to what others were thinking about my skin. After my first week at University my attitude towards my skin became much more severe but even I could not have anticipated what I was about to do.
It was Tuesday on my second week at University and I just could not cope any more. I sat in a lecture and could not take in a word as I was so fixated about my skin I felt the tears pour down my face. That is the moment when I began to seriously consider what I could do to end this never-ending misery and internal agony.
I was on the tram home after my lecture when I thought I can’t take this anymore I don’t want to look like this and feel like this anymore, ‘I want to die’. Following a tearful drive home I returned to an empty house and thought this was my chance I knew nobody would be back for hours. I began counting out the tablets and found some vodka as I thought this would speed up the process. I proceeded to take around 20-30 tablets of all kinds and hoped that they would act quickly but this was not the case. It took a while for the tablets to have an effect but I began to feel dizzy and incredibly sick and my body was shaking.
It was then that I realised I had made a mistake, at the time when I took the overdose I was only focused on the misery I was feeling, I selfishly didn’t stop to think about how my family would be affected. This was when I tried to contact my Mum but she was busy so I left her a message just asking her to come home. When she came home I was sitting crouched at the bottom of the stairs and told her to take me to hospital she was screaming at me asking what I had done and when I told her she burst into tears and took me to the nearest hospital. Luckily I hadn’t taken enough to do any serious damage and it was explained that I would feel weak and sick for a few days.
At the hospital I saw a mental health worker who arranged for me to see a dermatologist straight away as she understood that it was my obsession with my skin that had lead me to my previous actions. He told me again that it was mild and gave me some cream and antibiotics. Despite him saying it was very treatable I still felt hopeless.
When I got home from hospital the first thing I did was to look in the mirror and I broke down in tears again. My Mum took me to see my GP who put me on a course of anti-depressants. When I was back at home I began to search the Internet for possible cures for my acne and it was then that I came across an article on Acne Dysmorphia. As I read it I completely identified with all its symptoms and it even said that if left untreated Acne Dysmorphia can lead to suicide attempts. I took the article to my GP, which she found very useful. I asked if she thought I should try hypnosis as that is one of the therapies that is suggested to combat this relatively unheard of disorder and she said that it might help. On hearing this I set up a course of hypnotherapy. This is one of the suggestions believed to help sufferers of Acne Dysmorphia.
Having decided to defer my place at University for a year while I sought treatment, I began a course of around 10 weekly sessions of hypnotherapy with a qualified hypnotherapist, whom I was introduced to through a friend of the family who had been having hypnotherapy to treat an eating disorder. After a few sessions I was able to relax more and sleep a bit better but my obsession with my ‘bad skin’ still refused to go away. There would be days when I would just cry all day and refuse to go out. This when I went back to my GP who suggested that I see a Psychiatrist.
In February 2008 I went along to my first appointment with mixed emotions. In my mind only ‘crazy’ people see Psychiatrists, I thought I’m not crazy. On reading further information about Acne Dysmorphia, many of its sufferers do not believe they need Psychiatric or Psychological help as they have poor insight into the condition and see that it is their skin that is the problem and not the way they are acting.
The Psychiatrist I saw was lovely and we just had an informal chat about how I was feeling and what I thought the problem was. She decided that I should continue with my course of Anti-depressants and be referred to a Psychologist instead as she believed I would benefit from some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to combat my negative behaviour patterns such as the constant mirror-checking and the way I thought about my skin.
It is now April 2008 and I have not seen a Psychologist yet but am expecting an appointment any day now and am hopeful that this will end my struggle. I have come a very long way, mentally since October 2007 through the support of my family, friends and a wonderful GP. I have started to go out more and am determined to overcome Acne Dysmorphia and not let it ruin anymore of my life.
My story is one I felt should be shared with as many people as possible because if this article can increase the awareness of Acne Dysmorphia it may help the suffering of people who can’t put a name to the way they feel. I am taking the steps to ensure a full recovery from Acne Dysmorphia and I urge anyone who can identify with symptoms to seek help from a GP before it is too late.
Information about Acne Dysmorphia
What exactly is Acne Dysmorphia?
Acne Dysmorphia is the obsession an individual has with the condition of their skin. A sufferer will constantly strive for a clear complexion and a new spot or blemish however small is seen by them as disgusting. A sufferer may be convinced that their acne is severe when in actual fact it is only a mild outbreak. It can completely ruin a persons life and can lead to depression or suicidal behaviour without the correct support and help.
What should you do if you think you are suffering from Acne Dysmorphia?
If you think you are suffering from any of these symptoms I urge you to seek medical help as soon as possible and know that you are not alone in this. Tell them about Acne Dysmorphia, as I am certain there will be doctors who will not have come across it before.
http://www.highonhealth.org/forums/.
If you would like to talk to Laura in private, you can contact me (through the contact button on the top of this page), and I will pass your details onto Laura.
Fran Kerr is the founding editor of High on Health. To cure your acne, sign up to Fran's FREE acne cure mini-course or download her latest how to guide, Eat Away Your Acne.
44 responses ↓
Your story was very sad but I am so happy you found an answer in the end. I think you have also found the answer for me. I have been through a lot, too much to write down. I never had any problems with my skin until I was struck by a car while walking and received a bad facial injury. It was after this that I kept getting very bad acne breakouts. Then a few years later I was sick with kidney failure. I had a horrible reaction to a certain brand of medication that caused acne scaring. This including the stress of my girlfriend leaving me was a little to much for me to handle. Nothing I could do was helping my acne problem. I too looked at a bottle of pills and contemplated something dreadful. finally After my brother gave me a kidney I felt a lot better. I always had sore,red angry skin until I recently stumbled onto the site “high on health.org” I could not believe it ! a small dab of apple cider vinegar diluted with water has done what NO product ever has ! My skin is so much better looking I still have some scars but because they are not inflamed they are not as noticeable. My true friends accept me for ME. I am still really really self conscious about my face but I will definetly give hypnosis a try.
Thank you for finding a name for what I have.
-James
Thank you for sharing your story! I am sure I have acne dysmophoria, but I didn’t know there was a name for it. I’ve tried to talk about my acne and how I have been suicidal over it in therapy, but it seems impossible to really get the point across and to get any kind of help. Unless some has been there themselves, they just DON’T UNDERSTAND.
Thanks for this, wow - it has a name! I shall be discussing this in my next psychology appointment
I had to wait around 15 months to see a psychologist btw, I hope you get there quicker! Stupid NHS waiting lists!
Thank you very much for reading my article. Acne Dysmorphia desperately needs more publicity so once you have read the story and found it helpful please share it with as many people as you can.
James- I am so sorry to hear what you have been through but I am really glad to hear you are on the road to recovery. Its a good point you made about true friends accepting you for who you are as I have learnt. Don’t let it ruin your confidence when you start feeling down get angry with it and just say in your head ‘ I won’t let you bet me’ I have found getting mentally tough with Acne Dysmorphia really helpful lately. I am glad you are going to try hypnotherapy, please let me know how it works for you and go to your doctor and explain exactly how Acne Dysmorphia is affecting you as they may be able to offer you further treatment.
Chrystine- I am so glad that my article has helped you identify the way you feel. It can be incredibly hard for outsiders to understand but if you want to talk please feel free to contact me through Fran as talking about Acne Dysmorphia might be the way to begin your recovery as I can talk about the things that are helping me get better. Also I would suggest taking this article or any similar that you find to your doctor and really insist that you need treatment, make them understand the pain you are going through.
Ruth- I am really pleased that my article has been able to allow you to put a name to the way you are feeling. And please know that you are not alone in this its just that Acne Dysmorphia is so unheard of that many of its sufferers do not even realise they have the condition. I hope that I get seen faster than that aswell or I may have to consider going private instead as I am desperate to start my sessions of CBT and be the old me again.
Thanks again to you all
Laura
I am so proud of you Laura!!
Thank You SO MUCH Laura for your story!! I always thought that I was the only one that felt like that -still feel like that. I feel a little scared to share my story beacuse whenever I would try to talk to someone about this they would say is that’s whats bothering you? Is that all? And I would just be in shock because I would think well maybe someone could understand. But no, no one. I actually have had to quit 2 jobs on the first day because I would just be so terrified of what people would say or what they were thinking. High School was a bigger nightmare. I don’t have acne as bad as I used to but I still have moderate acne, when I was in high school I used to have the worst acne I had it everywhere it looked like I had boils all over my face it looked like it hurt just to talk. I was so quiet and scared to talk to anyone that I never said a word to anyone. I would sit in the back in the class way in the corner and not say a word. I think most people didn’t even relize that there was someone back there. People called me freddy krueger. I know that sounds funny but it really hurt and thats how bad my skin was. I cried everyday at night mostly so my family wouldn’t hear me. I really started not only to develope acne dysmorphia but I also began to develope body dysmorphic disorder because I would actually think what if I really do look like freddy krueger? What if I really am disfigured? These people wouldn’t call me this if it was just acne. I only made it for 2 years of high school then I was homeschooled I could’nt handle it anymore I had started cutting myself and really thought about ending my life. I can’t go back there I won’t go back there! Then when I started home schooling I never left my house. I didn’t see my friends for a year and a half I would talk to them on the Phone but I wouldn’t let them see me. It was about a year and a half when I began to look for a job. I got hired in a clothing store. I was so happy I finally have a job! My acne is still there but much better I can do this! But once I got out onto that selling floor I felt like the whole store stopped and looked at my face examing everything. I can’t do this. The same thing with the next job this was about 6 months later I had to quit. Its difficult its something that I still struggle every time I look in the mirror I still think: Am I seeing whats real or is it only what I want to see? Is my skin getting better or am I just imaging its getting better?
Hi Zach,
Thank you, I really appreciate the fact that you have chosen to share your story as I understand how hard it can be. I was extremely upset to hear that you hurt yourself but I can understand the desperation that any type of acne can drive people to.
Bullying is never funny, people can be so cruel, especially at school but I want you to know that there you have absolutley nothing to feel ashamed about. Acne Dismorphia is a tormenting mental condition and I think due to its lack of publishing makes it extremely hard to diagnose and difficult for people to understand.
I think that it is fantastic that you have tried to take steps to help yourself such as getting a job. I currently work a couple of days with my Dad at his office which I think has helped take my mind off things. I sometimes have down days when I get really upset about my skin but having things to do and distract myself really take my mind off things.
After reading your story I believe that you would benefit from talking to your doctor, explaining how you feel and ask for a referal to a Psychologist. I received my appointment and have my first session on 14th May, I hope that they will sort out some Cognative Behavioural Therapy. I also think that you would may respond well to this type of treatment as it aims to tackle the way your mind operates and may help you.
I completely empathise with the feeling of people staring. I am still struggling with this daily and hope that the Psychologist will help with this so Im not constantly worried about people are thinking and saying about my skin. I carry the preoccupation of my skin around with me everyday, some days are better than others but I refuse to let it beat me as you should and that is why I am seeking professional help which I really do think would be beneficial in your battle to overcome the way you feel about your skin. I am sure you are not imaging your skin is getting better, I bet it is! I think that you may associate acne with the bullying and torment it caused you and now any spot brings those feelings back??
If you would like to talk to me about anything please give your email address to Fran and I promise that Ill get back to you as soon as I can.
Stay postive and please go to your doctor and explain the psychological effects your skin is having on you.
Take care
Laura x
Thank You so much Laura! I really feel better now that shared my story with someone who suffered with the same condition that I did. My skin is getting better. I don’t drink soda, juice, anything with sugar basically. Just water. And I can’t tell you what a difference it has made. But I can’t thank you or Fran enough for all that you are doing! Thank you!
zacksawesome@gmail.com
anyone please feel free to email me anytime!
Thanks again Zack
Thankyou so much for sharing your story. I finally know the name. I have been on anti depressents for anxiety, and seen a psycologist. Now that i am getting better, I sat back and thought about the root cause that triggered my depression. And i knew automatically it was my skin. I have suffered badly with acne since i was about 11 and i came to a point where i was obbessed with the condition of my skin. I didn’t realis it at the time, but this is definetly what had started my panic attacks and anxiety. I am so happy to know that these feelings are a condition and that other people besides me suffer from this too.
Thankyou so much again for your story, you have come such a long way and i hope you continue to do so.
Feel free to email me
Looking back I would say I started obsessing about my skin when I was 11. I actually have (well had) really clean, clear skin. At 11 I started with my face, I would like in the mirror examine my skin and just squeeze at my pores, to try and get out what ever I thought was hiding in there. As the years went I I moved from my face, to my arms, back, chest, legs etc. I thought it was just a bad habit, until I was in High School, with a whole bunch of scars later did I realize something is not right here. I just kept getting worse and worse. Obsessing about my skin, picking at everything. Whether it was acne or ingrown hairs from shaving which became the worst. Just feeling an ingrown hair or a bump would make me want to run and lock myself in the bathroom just to pick at it. It’s like being in a trance, I would be in the bathroom for hours only then to realize what I had done to myself. I felt so embarrassed, ashamed and alone. I would have to cover up what I did so no one would notice. Which usually meant heavy makeup, no shorts/skirts/dresses especially not in the summer and no going to the beach, so no one can see the scars I created. I went to a dermotoligist my junior year of high school, to which I was told just stop picking at your skin. Like it was like that easy, like a switch I could just turn on and off. After that I felt even more alone, and like I was a freak by doing this to my own body. Till this day, 14 years later I still suffer from this. I am currently seeing a psychiatrist, I have be diagnoised as being bi-polar (as if compulsive skin picking wasn’t enough), but whenever I mention my urge to pick or my obsession with my skin, my doctor never discusses it. In fact it seems like he just ignores my comments about my skin picking. I am currently just being prescribed medication for my bi-polar. At this point I just feel so hopeless. I am married and have a daughter. I feel like I am making my husband suffer through this. He is very supportive and loving, but I hate myself and what I have done to my body. Most of the time I can’t even bare for him to look at me or even touch me, because I am so disgusted with myself. And my daughter I wish I would be able to go swimming with her, take her to the beach. Even if I found a way to stop this, there is nothing that can erase the scars and even out my skin.
Anonymous- thank you for sharing your story I understand how difficult it can be. I am going through a really bad patch at the moment and am constantly in the mirror looking at all the little bumps which people say they can’t see but I do.
Its a real shame that Acne Dismorphia had not been discovered when your were 11 as that may have helped you break the obsession with your skin. I think you really need to insist your doctor listens to you about your skin concerns and possibly ask if you can be refered to a psychologist to help you through it and give you ways of coping.
I feel that my boyfriend suffers too which really upsets me and that is my motivation to get better, so he and my family do not have to suffer anymore.
It is really awful to hear you say that you hate yourself. You should focus on the positives about yourself, perhaps ask your husband what his favourite qualities are about you. I am sure that he will make you see that you are a wonderful person.
I dont think that I could get through this without the love and support of my family. But you really need to see someone about your obsession with your skin, it has already taken up so much of your life, don’t let it have anymore. Get tough with it and try the various things I suggested such as hypnotherapy.
Take care and please let me know how things go
Laura x
Hey, I just discovered what Acne Dysmorphia was today when I was searching online for a way to stop picking at my acne. See… I’m not sure if I have it because I’ve never become suicidal over it, and I don’t have an obsession with mirrors..
Actually, I hate looking in mirrors because everytime I do, it disgusts me. I have stopped wearing my glasses altogether because doing so allows me to see my face as being clearer than it is. I am more obsessive about my skin than most people - this I know for certain because I am afraid to go out until I have somehow covered up most of my blemishes.. But makeup doesn’t even help that much (when I try to put it on it often doesn’t sit right on my skin… it just looks cakey and gross) I wash my face a couple of times a day and am constantly picking at it and wishing it wasn’t so hideous… People tell me all of the time that I am gorgeous, and I actually think that I look okay in most pictures of me, but when I look in the mirror I just can’t see it.
In my last relationship, I always felt uncomfortable having my boyfriend look at me… I wanted to be pretty for him but I felt as though I never would be, because nothing I did helped. I’ve been trying really hard for a long time to see myself differently, but it’s so hard.
I always thought I was just really self-conscious.. you don’t think this could be Acne Dysmorphia, do you? Thank you so much for sharing your story.. I truly hope that more people will learn about this in time, because the realization that I might be suffering from some form of it has made me determined to overcome it.
Peace.
Honestly, it’s depression and anxiety. It can be triggered by certain things like a preoccupation with skin/acne but the condition is there nonetheless. I think you’re doing the people who are truly in need of help from a licensed mental health professional major harm by lightly labeling MAJOR DEPRESSIVE SYMPTOMS as a small “dysmorphia.”
Thank you for your comment but I don’t believe I have done any harm. All I wanted to do was share my story with other people, I do not believe that there is any harm in wanting to help anyone with my condition. And as far as I know I have never ‘lightly labelled Major Depressive Symptoms as a small dismoprhia’. And Acne dismorphia is not small at all, it has completely ruined my life and that why I was so desperate to share my story to help people. I think you have misunderstood the things I have said. Acne dismorphia has caused me to have many symptoms of depression but it is not depression alone that caused me to become obsessed with my skin.
Hello Laura ,I wanted to thank you for your story.
My story is very similar to yours and it is only now that I have been diagnosed with dysmorphia about my skin and have been put on anti depressants and and am about to start cognitive therapy in a month so would be interested to see how you find it.
I only get a few spots occasionally and I don’t think anyone would say that it is really bad but when I have a bad day I find it very difficult to go to work or to see my friends and spend hours in front of the mirror.
What actually bothers me is not the spots but what I see as red scars left behind because I never know when they will go and my life will go back to normal. I have had a long series of IPL treatments as I suffer from very mild roseaca but never seem to be satisfied by the resukts and my family find it very frustrating. I have spent about £1200 over the last month of savings on treatment. I don’t expect to get perfect skin but I just seem to be on a constant quest to get back to how my skin was previously, which is futile.
It is only my very close friends and family that have any idea of my condition and I believe if my other friends knew that they would be genuinely shocked as I try and keep it secret as I am a very outgoing person in my day to day life.
Sometimes I just find it completley exhausting trying to act normal and when I see other girls with beautiful skin I find myself staring at them in envy and I feel angry that they don’t have to do anything to maintain their skin. But I try and remind myself that everyone has their insecurities and it could be worse.
Though I know that you must feel awfull alot of the time I just wanted to say that you really do have a beautiful face and it is better to be pretty with the odd spot than have perfect skin but be convinced that you are perceived as an truely ugly person by others..
It makes me sad to thin how many of us struggle with this type of condition, and the person that you envy and think looks ‘perfect’ may infact be suffering the same as you.
Thanks
Lucinda
Hi Lucinda,
Thank you so much for your reply I can completely identify with the way you feel.
I have had about 4 sessions now with a psychologist trying to establish why it is that I hate my skin so much and find out where this insecurity came from. He says that CBT will come into it later so I cant really tell you about it but I would be really interested to know if it helps you.
I have thought about skin treatments especially the laser skin treatments that promise to rid you of acne but I asked my dermatologist and he advised me that I should not have any kind of laser treatment.
I also struggle with the red marks that past spots leave and these upset me as much as the spots themselves, I find that rubbing a little bit of Savlon does reduce the redness and helps me feel a bit more confident. I also use very small amounts of Sudocrem on the spots that upset me and that helps me feel better too even though the whiteness can be seen by others I’d rather have that on my face.
I also find it hard to act normal when I go out as Im constantly comparing my skin to other peoples and I can get very moody and upset when I see girls with better skin than me but I try to think that nobody has perfect skin and that if I looked up as close at the peoples skin that Ii see as perfect I would find the same small imperfections that upset me so much.
Im glad that you have been able to get something from reading my article and I really want to help more people who might be suffering with this condition.
Take care and I really hope that the CBT works for you
Laura xx
Hello Laura,
Thank you for writing this.
Everything you have said mirrors what my life has been like for the last 2 years or so. I had tears running down my face reading your article. I literally have done exactly what you have done. It started a few years ago and has slowly consumed my life to the point where I was just staying in my flat and not going out at all. I even left my job, stopped playing sports every week, stopped going out, when I did go out I thought that all eyes were on me and everyone was judging me. I didn’t want a girl friend and when girls were interested in me , I though they must have been crazy I just didn’t understand I felt disgusting and horrible.
My family had become worried about me and friends were concerned that I was not socializing at all. People kept asking me what as wrong and was I OK? I am usually the type of person that is always laughing have a great time and that all just stopped. I just felt and still do feel embarrassed to even tell my friends what I’ve been going through. They would understand I’m sure, but they would be utterly shocked to know the truth. The people that I have told, close family etc. have been fantastic so far, they have supported me a lot. Even though they would say to me that I had nothing wrong at all with my face it didn’t make any difference what so ever. My GP would say that I had mild to no acne at all and that I should stop worrying about it and stop picking. He said I didn’t need to go to a Dermatologist. I even went to have a food allergy test to see if I was allergic to anything and that was the problem. The women that I saw was lovely and said that I didn’t need to do this and that I was worrying about something that in her eyes was so mild if I left it alone it would be fine. I remember leaving the place in tears because I was so confused.
I would search the internet for products and methods to try and “cure” the problem I thought I had. I can’t tell you how much money I have wasted. It consumed my life completely and so much so that I just lost all hope as you did at one point. I wrote a suicide note and was planning to kill myself, and if it wasn’t for my wonderful brother and his quick actions I don’t know if I would still be here. I realise now that I didn’t want to leave this world like that but I felt I had no choice. I can draw endless similarities to your article but I wont right and essay about it there is only so much space here! But its good for me to write this I feel.
I have recently followed the exact same procedure with anti-depressants and a Psychiatrist. I recently discovered literally a week ago about Acne Dysmophia and it rang so true within me. I am slowly trying to get better and thinking of CBT myself. With the love and support of my friends and family I will do it, I know I will. Your article is just another great step for people trying to identify and cope with this kind of problem. Its wonderful of you to have done this, and extremely brave.
If anyone ever feels they need a chat or help via email please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Benny x
Hi Ben,
Thank you so much for your reply. I am glad that you are able to put a name to what you have and the way you are feeling. It helps knowing that we aren’t alone in this and that Acne Dismorphia is a very real and serious mental condition.
I am currently seeing a psychologist every week which is helping aswell as taking my antidepressants but I know that it is ultimately down to me to change the way I feel about my skin. I have good days and bad days as Im sure you do but Im determined to not let it beat me.
Im really glad that you are getting help and are no longer suffering in silence. Like you, it is really only my family that know what Im going through but I have a best friend Alex and she and her family have been wonderful and its sometimes easier to talk to someone outside your immediate family.
Take care and please let me know how you are doing and what is working for you it might give me some ideas.
We will beat it
Laura x x x
hello i saw this page in which u talked avout acne Dysmorphia. But if you were to say i had that, i really wouldnt believe it cause i can say that i have REALLY bad acne from my face to my back and let me tel u its not pretty. I have had suicidal thoughts but when i tell my mom and dad that i need help with this acne they just back off! they buy me all this S**T but it just dosnt work!!! it has affected my already messed up life by adding more to a depressive state of mind. my social life is so not good cause i (like i do) peoples first impression matters ALOT and that first impression on me is not the best cause of this acne condition. i just want to die sometimes and i guess i do need help?
hello! i was wondering if you would email me if you see this…i know i must have this, i just had no idea there was a name for what i had…i cry every single day becaues of my acne…and nobody even thinks i have an acne problem but i know its jjust becuase i have good makeup. ive suffered for years, and nothing workso n my skin…but now my skin is worse than ever and i am always getting cysts. they always leave marks too. im so obsessed with my skin, e verything revolves around it, i dont go out, i wont work, if im going out at night just by chance i wont do anything that day because i wont want to do my makeup twice…i wear masks at night just so i can look at myself without seeing the dots. im sooo depressed because of it, i cant stop crying, everyday the only thing i think about is my skin. i dont know what to do anymore, if i have acne for the rest of my life, id rather just not live honestly, its too hard living like this…everyday i just imagine what it would be like to have perfect skin. and it breaks my heart that i never ever will.
I posted above last week and i know how you feel. Im dealing with it too at the moment.
Kristen sorry to hear your having a tough. Have you spoken to your doctor or family about the difficulties you are having ? My advice is to not suffer alone with this, its best to get help or get some people around you that can be there for you. I was scared at first to tell people but slowly ive let certain ( a few ) people in and has really helped. ITs hard i know i have the same inner battle every single day. Just remember that the number 1 thing is that you will beat this, what ever it is or what ever you think it might be you will beat it!
regards Benny x
Hi kristen,
Thank you for your post.
Its clear to me that your acne is causing you extreme distress. I would take Benny’s advice and talk to someone perhaps your doctor and explain how your skin is making you feel.
Have you actually been diagnosed with any form of acne? If so ask to see a dermatologist and they will tell you what treatments would help. They always say that Acne is completely treatable with the right help.
But if no one else can see the things you see then I would perhaps suggest that you have more of a dismorphia like me and the other people who have posted.
If that is the case ask if you could be referred to a psychologist or someone who can give you cognative behavioural therapy to help you change the way you feel about your skin.
Remember nobody has perfect skin! I have days where I just want to curl up in a ball and make all the feelings go away about my skin. But then I have better days where I know that no ones skin is perfect and I stop comparing myself to airbrushed photos of models and celebrities who get spots and blemishes too just like anyone.
Take care and try and stay strong and please talk to someone about the way you are feeling.
Laura x x
Just wanted to say hello to Laura and anyone else on this page who has been having a tough time this week.
Have just had another set of laser treatment for my red patches of skin on my face. My parents begged me not to have another treatment as they don’t think I need it but I just feel that if my skin is always this red I can’t go on.
Having an terrible time now as the treatment that I had (which cost £300) made my skin come out in blisters which led to huge scabs on my face. The scabs have started to fall off and now I have ended up with red scars on my face which are worse than before and now I just don’t now what to do. I don’t want to go to work I just feel like quitting
I wanted to share my experience of laser treatment just to warn anyone who like me has sought more and more extreme treatments to cure the problem but please be carefull as you could end up worse than before.
I find this page really helpfull because I’ve never met anyone else who has the same feeling as I do. The Pschologist I spoke to said that 1 in a hundred people have this so we’re not alone.
I don’t know if anyone else agrees? but there does seem alot more pressure now to look perfect than ever before and I just feel so disgusting and every morning I wake up hoping that my skin will be better and I look in the mirror and I’m disappointed.
I am very close to my sister who I live with and she’s a great support but I do find it hard that she has perfect skin sometimes and I see her able to go out and do things and be confident and I just feel that I am permanently in a prison. I don’t see the point of going out when I feel this horrible.
I’m just waiting to see how the scars heal and trying to look after myself. If anyone else on the page is having a bad skin day and is upset please email me on lucinda_mills@hotmail.com . I know it sound naff but I think we need to stick together.
Lucinda
Hey Lucinda
Thank you much for sharing your experience of laser treatment I was seriously considering it but the more research I did about the possible after effects I decided against it. My dermatologist also said that I should avoid any laser treatment. Im sure your skin will heal in time.
I know it is difficult sometimes to get through the day but I have found that making myself do things that I had been previously scared or apprehensive about is helping me to overcome Acne Dismorphia. It shows me that things are not as bad as I thought they would be and not everyone is staring at me. Try not to let it take away the things that you enjoy in life. Its really good that you have someone close to talk to about it and who can be there for you. I find just talking though it with my parents helps me feel better.
I definately agree with the your opinion that there is a ridiculous amount of pressure, especially on girls to look a certain way thanks to all the glossy magazines of models with ‘perfect’ skin which has actually been airbrushed. But I am starting to realise that nobody looks like that in reality and we should stop comparing ourselves to them.
I really hope you feel better soon.
Feel free to email me anytime
Take care
Love Laura x x x
I just recently discovered this disorder on acne.org, and began to research it. The more I began to learn about it the more convinced I became that I had acne dysmorphia. I am relieved to know what is wrong with me. Somehow, I stumbled upon this page and read Laura’s story. I’m scared that this could be me in a couple of years, or even a couple of months.
Anyways, about myself. My name is Kaley and I’m 13 years old. I’ve struggled with acne for probably about a year. Recently, about the past few months, I have really become affected by my acne. I don’t go anywhere without makeup on. When I’m at a friends house I’ll ask to go to the bathroom just to analyze myself in the mirror. Its about noon here, and I’ve probably already looked at myself in the mirror a dozen times.
If I could, I would definitely go into therapy, get whatever medication possible. But I’m 13, and that would mean telling my parents, which just isn’t an option for me. Basically, support would be best for me now. Anyone, please email me at: xxmoonehxx@yahoo.com.
Also, I was reading other comments about airbrushing. Here is a site that has the before and after pictures: http://www.iwanexstudio.com/
Just click portfolio at the top of the page and then click on one of the pictures at the bottom to open it. Scroll over to see what they looked like before the re-touching.
Thank you so much for this article. I fear deeply that i may have this and i know it’s getting worse. All i’m caring about recently is my skin. I wont go out and do fun stuff because of it. I feel like i’m in a personal hell. Maybe i’ll trust my mom enough to show her this article, and get help. i hope to get better soon. =[.
Thank you!
I have worried so long about my skin.
Each day I struggle with finding clothes to wear that cover my back, arms and sometimes my neck.
I have hated myself because I am probably making my skin worse by making myself too hot in all these clothes.
I have also spent ages in the bathroom making my skin worse. Even if someone says I am pretty, I can’t belive them because they don’t see my skin, I keep it hidden.
My biggest worry is my boyfriend. I am worried so much about what he will say when he sees how badly spotty my arms and back are. I’m not exaggerating, they really are unsightly.
I’m worried he will thing I’m ugly and not want to be with me anymore.
Please can someone send me a message to make me feel a bit better?
Its been such a worry for so long and I have had no one to tell. I was too ashamed to tell my family, so have been anxiously suffering quietly for so long.
I have hated myself and suffered severe depression because of my skin. Its exhausting, especially when all my friends have beautiful skin and wear strapless tops displaying it.
Please give me your advice and help
xxx
Hello,
Thought i would post a few words for those who have recently posted. As you can see higher up the board I have been suffering like you for an awful long time.
To start i think he best piece of advice if any I can suggest to you is to not suffer in silence. Find someone who you can trust and you think will be able to listen, and sit down and talk to them.. You will feel so much better for it I promise you. If you don’t feel comfortable as yet talking to family members or friends then try and maybe organise speaking to a professional (psychotherapist). Having some one to listen or just to talk to, as a one off will help you feel that you are not alone in this. Always remember that. Some people I know prefer talking to someone completely new like a professional.
I do hope you make some progress soon.
Big hugs
Benny
Hi Samantha,
Thank you so much for sharing how you feel I know how difficult it can be. I used to have the same worries about how my boyfreind would think I was ugly because of my skin. But he has never treated me any differently and I don’t think your boyfriend would either. He is with you because he wants to be and if he let a tiny physical flaw change the way he feels about you then really he is not worth being with because if someone loves you, they accept every part of you for who you are.
If you are really concerned about the acne on your body please go and see your doctor, they see thousands of cases probably a lot worse than yours and they are there to help you, not judge you if thats what if worrying you. They will help you find the right product to treat your acne and should help you feel lots better.
Please remember aswell that true beauty comes from within and is not simply a measure of how clear your skin is.
I hope that I have been some help
Take care
Love Laura x x x x x
To Laura
You have helped me but things in perspective, and to think about my skin more positively. I will go to a doctor.
Love Samantha
Thanks for your support I appreciate it.
Hi, I had no clue that other peple felt like this. I have been going through this since I was 12 I am 29 now. I have spent thousands of dollars on treatments. I am not rich but, any mony that I got went to treatments or make-up for covering it up.
I have been clinically diagnosed with depression, severe anxiety and, agorafobia .
When people ask me whats wrong ,and why I don’t want to go out or participate in anything, I mean that I have not been or done alot of stuff that I could have. I just say I don’t feel good or something.
I don’t think I have bad skin but I do. Thats the only way I can discribe it. I have some whitheads and congested pores. Probly from all the stuff I have used.
I had a bad case of acne when I was younger its not as bad but it feels the same.
I don’t see anyone on t.v with pimples or acne. I don’t see people at the the store with it either. Where are these people are they at home? I feel like I am being constantly looked at and laughed at. I feel like no one else has this problem, I feel like an alien with crap on my face how dare I let someone see it.
I asked the doctor to give antibiotic and he said your case of acne is not bad enough. I have been suicidal at times.
If anyone thinks that this is just some stupid thing called Acne Dysmorphia and that its not a big deal. Then your stupid. It exists and it is all to real.
People with this are very imbarrased to even tell anyone about their problem thats the whole reason why they have the disorder we do not want anyone to see it.
I wonder how many people actually have killed their self over this. I almost did.
Jennifer
Hi Jennifer,
I think that it is fantastic you have decided to share your story.Thank you. We need to raise the awareness of Acne Dysmorphia and make people see the mentally destroying condition that it is. I can completely empathise with your feelings of suicide there have still been times that I have contemplated it but not since I have been seeing my Psychologist which I think has been really helpful. Have you thought about seeing a Psychologist? I think you might really benefit from talking to one, like I have.
I think that people on TV and in magazines give false impressions of their skins condition. Pictures are always airbrushed and people on TV have special make-up and lighting. It’s realising things like this, which are helping me to control my Acne Dysmorphia more and more. I refuse to let it beat me and stop me doing the things I want to do and accomplish in life, you should tell yourself the same. Almost get angry with it and say NO! Im not going to let these feelings make me feel this way about my skin and myself.
I force myself to go out when I don’t want to and am worried about my skin but once I have done them it makes me see that they are not as bad as I anticipated they would be. I find that I feel better on days when I don’t look in the mirror so much and pick my skin apart by inspecting every tiny flaw or imperfection. If you find yourself acting similar to me try not to do that as much.
If a medical profession does not think you need an antibiotic doesn’t that help you see that no one else sees your skin the way you do? Or does it just make no difference?
Please feel free to email me through Fran if you want to talk further privately or if not that is absolutley fine
Take care and thank you again for sharing your story.
Love Laura x x x
Dear Laura,
I have been to the Psychologist a couple of times. They told me my case didn’t meet the criteria to be seen again ,due to the guidlines of my insurance company. He tried to put me on zoloft again. I have also been on paxil and adivan in the past.
None of the medication stopped me from trippin on my skin.
I tried to tell my boyfriend last night that I think that I have this condition called Acne Dysmorphia
he looked at me like I was nuts.
I have not been outside for about 8 days, because of an breakout that I have created for myself from squeezing and picking with tweezers. I will try and stop looking in the mirror as much like you said. But it is so hard to do. Talking about this realy is helping me. More than anything that I have tried to do. Just knowing that I’m not alone in this.
Thank you so much, Jennifer
Hey Jennifer,
I’m glad you feel that you are not alone in this, I can’t tell you the relief I felt when I found there was a name for the way I was feeling and that I wasn’t just going mad.
I think that your boyfriend’s reaction may be due to the fact that there is so little published about Acne Dysmorphia that no one really knows what it is. My boyfriend acted similarly but then I gave him an article explaining what the condition actually is it helped him understand. He is now incredibly supportive and I think it is because he now knows exactly why I act the way I do sometimes and do not want to go out on occasions.
I know it is really hard not to look in the mirror. I found reading a great distraction from looking in the mirror too much as you can completely loose yourself in a book and before you know it hours have passed. Maybe you could try that? Or if you don’t like reading have a nice long bath or do some relaxation techniques like Yoga or Tai Chi. You need to take your mind off it and not let the negativity consume your mind. I know you might feel as if this is the way you are always going to feel, but I promise you it’s not. I have come such a long way since last October I have even applied for a part-time job and am looking foward to Uni which I never ever thought I would. Just try and take small steps like a walk to your local shop or go to a park with your boyfriend. Fresh air helps clear the mind a bit, it really isn’t healthy to stay indoors for such a long time, it gives you too much time to think and focus on the way you think your skin looks and it makes it seem way out of proportion. I would go back to your GP and insist that you want some help. Take my article in or something that describes Acne Dysmorphia, I doubt they will turn you away.
Always remember, that you are not alone in this Ok? I’m here to talk to whenever you want to.
Take care Jennifer
Loev Laura x x x
Jennifer,
I’m glad you feel that you are not alone in this, I can’t tell you the relief I felt when I found there was a name for the way I was feeling and that I wasn’t just going mad.
I think that your boyfriend’s reaction may be due to the fact that there is so little published about Acne Dysmorphia that no one really knows what it is. My boyfriend acted similarly but then I gave him an article explaining what the condition actually is it helped him understand. He is now incredibly supportive and I think it is because he now knows exactly why I act the way I do sometimes and do not want to go out on occasions.
I know it is really hard not to look in the mirror. I found reading a great distraction from looking in the mirror too much as you can completely loose yourself in a book and before you know it hours have passed. Maybe you could try that? Or if you don’t like reading have a nice long bath or do some relaxation techniques like Yoga or Tai Chi. You need to take your mind off it and not let the negativity consume your mind. I know you might feel as if this is the way you are always going to feel, but I promise you it’s not. I have come such a long way since last October I have even applied for a part-time job and am looking foward to Uni which I never ever thought I would. Just try and take small steps like a walk to your local shop or go to a park with your boyfriend. Fresh air helps clear the mind a bit, it really isn’t healthy to stay indoors for such a long time, it gives you too much time to think and focus on the way you think your skin looks and it makes it seem way out of proportion. I would go back to your GP and insist that you want some help. Take my article in or something that describes Acne Dysmorphia, I doubt they will turn you away.
Always remember, that you are not alone in this Ok? I’m here to talk to whenever you want to.
Take care Jennifer
Love Laura x x x
Laura, reading your story along with everyone elses helps me realize that I am not alone when facing this situation. I endure alot of pyschological problems and this just happens to be one of the bigger ones. Ever since I can remember I have been obsessed with the my looks and how people think of me. But these past two years have been definetly the hardest. I am to the point where I avoid all social situations and have cut off all connections with my friends so I dont have to make up excuses anymore for not going out. Along with that, ive had to quit my job because it was mentally impossible to push myself out the door every morning. I am starting college in less than a week and I am so afraid that this horrible fetish I have is going to affect my being successful. I keep telling myself that all this is just a phase, and I am going to grow up and get over it. But I know everytime I say that I am merely sabotaging myself. I hope someday you, and I, and everybody else for that matter, who struggles with this can finally look past the minor flaws and learn to love and accept ourselves as hard as that is to do sometimes. Thankyou for being so brave and sharing your story with everyone. You truly don’t know how helpful it is.
Hi Kate,
First of all please don’t be scared about starting college. I am starting University in October and it has really given me a goal to aim for and in many ways has helped. Don’t think that everyone is there to judge you, everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives they don’t really look at you in as much detail as you might think. No one would judge you on your skin, do you judge other people about their skin before even getting to know them? I know I don’t even though a persons’ skin is the first thing I seem to look at because of my obsession with my own I wouldn’t think any less of a person who had acne at all.
I can understand completely about feeling you have to cut off all contact with your friends so they won’t start get weird about the endless excuses you make for not going out with them. I have two close friends who know what I have been through and have seen my at my worst and at my best. Maybe you should try and explain to your friends what you are going through.
I had to quit my job aswell and that was difficult but I am looking for a new part-time one to help me get better and take my mind off my skin.
You cannot tackle Acne Dysmorphia on your own, trust me. Please go to your doctor and explain how you feel and how you think your skin looks and how miserable you are feeling.
I too really hope we can all one day get past obsessing over little imperfections and accept that no one has the skin that we see in magazines. That is what I try to tell myself but when I see all the spots and marks up close in the mirror it doesn’t seem to help me much. I really want to beat it and get on with my life, like we all do but we cannot do it alone.
Take care
Love Laura xx xx
I hate my face. I have razor burn every time i shave and it looks terrible all over my neck and tyen there are boils too. I am terrified of shaving because it reveals all the disgusting blemishes on my face, i feel like dying. I cant even talk to this girl im seeing at work for too long cuz i feel like im gross when i have these weird breakouts. I dont know if what i have is acne dysmorphia cuz its not really acne just ingrown hairs that are all over my neck and then boils show up whenever they want and its not just a spot or two its like a few dozen and then some larger ones ugghhh. Its ruined my dating life my social life i feel like im in such a dark place right now and im really a happy person until this crap happens. I look at all the other guys faces and they are fine, even after they shave its like not a single friggin one has to deal with this except me. I know there are people out there with this problem but i just hate being one of them, i just feel so numb from the pain its caused. Well didnt mean to ramble, but if your still there maybe you can help me figure out if this is what i have cuz it sounds similar to what im dealing with. Thanks Scott
i have a very hard time with doctors. it seems that all they want to do is fill you up on drugs so that they can get some money, although i know it is not the case with all doctors… i went to a dermatologist a few months ago to get some professional help with my mild acne, but it didnt take long for her to give me some antibiotics. she hadnt looked at my face for even two minutes! more and more i am hearing stories from people that suffer from acne caused by depression and stress, and how they just go for the “quick fix” by picking up some anti-depressants. why dont they get down to the core of it and find out why they are depressed and sort out their lives?? i know sometimes there are some wounds that are pretty deep but have been covered up over the years, but i have found that finding out why your depressed is probably the BEST solution to get you on the road to clearer skin. unless of coarse you have some kind of chemical imbalance or whatever, i dont believe that taking anti-depressants is the way to get rid of your depression, drugs cannot hide or heal the wounds.
First let me say that I have silently been browsing acne forums and articles for the past year looking for an explanation for what I have and I have not written anything myself until now. This article and all the ensuing comments have made it obvious to me that this is a serious problem with many acne sufferers. I’d like to share my story because I think it illustrates why this is a MENTAL problem and NOT a skin problem for many of us (those with “mild to moderate acne”).
I had really bad acne for the early part of high school. After the dermatologist put me on accutane my acne eventually cleared up completely - and I remained clear, and I mean completely clear, not one zit, for 7 years. A year after graduating college and starting a job which I hated, I began to notice that I was starting to have breakouts (I was 23 at the time). At first I didn’t pay them any attention because I was so used to clear skin that I expected them to disappear just as quickly as they had appeared. However, as time passed, my acne got worse and worse. But it wasn’t like my adolescent acne - this acne was much more cystic in nature and only appeared on one part of my face, which I found very odd.
About half a year after I started breaking out, I became extremely passionate about photography. So passionate that I forgot about my skin entirely and channeled all the energy that I used to put into taking care of my skin, into my photos. My skin instantly cleared up and remained clear for the next 6 months. And here’s the kicker - I didn’t do anything to my skin, I don’t even remember washing or putting moisturizer on my skin during those 6 months, and it was completely clear.
Unfortunately, once the “wow factor” of discovering my new photography passion started to subside, my acne stared to reappear, and it has been with me for the past year on and off - and it has truly been a year of living hell for me with all the anxiety and social phobia symptoms discussed by the many commenters here. I check the mirror RELIGIOUSLY and if I discover a new blemish it is the end of the world. Many times I end up making my acne worse by picking at it so hard that I cause lesions on my skin. I am lucky because my skin does not scar easily from acne, but in a way that makes me more likely to pick at my face nonstop. I’m sure that I have strong symptoms of Acne Dysmorphia, but I’m also sure that I have overcome it on my own before just by refocusing and finding something that is more important than my face. Thinking about it now I have no idea how I did that because all I wish for these days is a clear face and it is undoubtedly the most important thing to me. I should also mention that I went to see an acupuncturist who told me that the acne was completely stress related. I only get acne on the right portion of my face from my temple up. And I have very tense neck muscles, which are supposedly linked to the upper part of the face in traditional Chinese medicine - all the doctors who say acne is not stress related need to be reeducated.
Here’s one technique that has worked for me in the past (better than all acne medications that I have tried combined, and I have tried them all) that some of you should consider trying. Keep a rubber band around your wrist and any time you start to walk towards a mirror to check your skin or any time your hands start to go into a “vengeful skin picking rampage” grab hold of that rubber band and flick it against your skin as hard as you can. And when I say hard I mean HARD. Your mind will instantly turn its focus away from your skin and onto the throbbing pain inflicted by the rubber band. After a few days of this you eventually won’t need the rubber band anymore, but the problem is that it’s easy to slip back into mirror checking mode once your skin clears up - your best bet is to make it a lifelong habit to NOT be concerned with how your face looks, I’m not there yet, but hopefully will be soon.
Anyway I just thought I’d share my experience to let others know that acne can absolutely be a MENTAL condition more than a skin condition. The times when my face has been clearest is when I have completely forgotten about it (in fact the only reason I knew it was clear is from pictures since I never cared enough to check my face). If you can learn to free your mind from constantly monitoring your face, you have an extremely good chance of freeing yourself of acne. Unfortunately it’s a catch 22 - you can’t get rid of acne until you stop caring about it. It’s difficult, it’s cruel, and it is a mental mind f*ck, but from my experience it’s the only way. I just wish I could find my way back to the times when I just didn’t care about my face… I wish we all could. Good luck to you all.
Anonymous Male,
Thank you for taking the time to write your story and share it with us.
I think it is interesting the way that channelling all your anger about your skin into photography helped your skin clear up. I think that by giving ourselves a distraction can really help us forget about our skin and make us stress less.
I don’t really like the idea of inflciting pain on myself to distract me from looking in the mirror but I can see how it might work. I prefer to think about something else, or pick up a book. I would love to not care what my skin looks like but I think I always will and just some days will be better than others. I had a period of about 6 weeks were my skin looked clearer which made me happier and stopped me looking in the mirror for so long. But for about a week now I have been upset again. I can see all little lumps and bumps on my left cheek and have got a huge spot on my chin that is really getting me down.
I am really happy that you feel you have control over it and you sound like you are doing really well. I wish I could be more like that.
Take care
Laura xx
wow. i just read your article, laura, and all the responses to your article. i have been dealing with acne since the age of 10. i’m now 36. my acne seemed to subside in my twenty’s, but it left scars. so in my late 20’s i started obsessing about my scars. this lead to laser treatments, which didn’t work. i started to get very obsessed with my skin. i refused to leave the house without makeup. and, in retrospect, my skin wasn’t that bad (compared to now). if i had a guy spend the nite, i refused to wash my face, cuz i didn’t want him to see me without makeup! if he did spend the nite, i would get up earlier than him to make sure my skin looked presentable. i do believe these past five years my obsession with my skin has completely aggrevated my acne. now i have terrible, pitted, pockmarked skin…i think because of acne dysmorphia. my derm insists i start taking accutane. he told me, “usually i’m trying to talk people out of taking accutane, but you really need it, you have extensive scarring.” not what I wanted to hear. needless to say, i have no social life. no joy in my life. not alot of friends. i’m ashamed of how i look. i’m tired of complete strangers trying to give me advice on my acne. i really, really hate my face.
Shomakhang,
Thank you for reading my article and giving us all some information about yourself. I think if you have had acne it is so easy to get obsessed with your skin and every little imperfection reminds you of how your skin used to be. The thing with Acne Dysmorphia is that it is a physchological thing, I am really struggling at the moment and am spending hours everyday in the mirror trying to ‘fix’ all the red marks, spots and clogged pores on my face, it is making me so miserable compared to a few weeks ago when I was doing really well. My family are getting really angry and saying that there is nothing there. I feel right back at square one and to make it worse Im starting Uni in October, Im petrified.
If a dermatologist has told you that you have extensive scarring surely the treatment he has prescribed you should help? I think you are suffering not necessarily from Acne Dysmorphia but depression that can be linked with having acne and its scars it can leave. I only think this is the case because a dermatologist has put you on Accutane and if you had Acne Dysmorphia I don’t think he would be giving you skin treatment but a referal to a psychologist. I do however understand that you could feel that you suffered from Acne Dysmorphia in the past and that this has given you problems with your skin now.
Have you spoken to your doctor about how you feel about your skin and how it is limiting your daily life? I think it is really important for you to go and talk to somebody to help you understand that there will be many people out there with skin worse than yours who are able to live normal lives and not even think about their skin. I wish I could be like those people too.
Please let me know how you get on, there are many treatments available for acne scarring I am sure your dermatologist will help you.
Take care and try and stay positive, I know it is hard
Love Laura xx xx
Hi, its me again Jennifer
I just wanted to share with you what was going on with me now. I still have breakouts nothing has changed there but one thing has changed, I went to a doctor and told him what was going on he said I should think about trying some cannabis as a medication. I was like what? He said that alot of people with mental illness
try it to see if it helps instead of pills, that have a slew of side effects especially when taken for a long period of time.
So I got a cannabis card and bought some medication and it seems to work its been 2 weeks now. I have seen a change I haven’t cared when I go into public if they see my acne. I haven’t been stressing out, I only have a few pimples right now and they are healing. And I’m not picking and poking anymore thats a big change.
In conclusion I’m not saying that this will work for everyone, I have a mental illness that seems to be under control due to a prescribed medication.
I’ll check back later for up-dates.
Lots of love, Jen
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